my shoes -

;its a long long journey

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

im shifted to msn space.will send invited soon!

i need my SHOES .

;its a long long journey

Saturday, August 06, 2005

The last week in brief

There are times when people portray themselves as something else, perphaps a vision of what they want to be. Many a time, i act like i don't care what people say of me, because to me, its just an opinion and it will not justify who i am. But recently, remarks made by people have bit into me, affected me, made me think back and feel a sadness inconceiveable. Maybe its another one of days where i evolve myself in self-pity. Or perphaps things have just been well, not so great.
Well one thing i aint happy about is the fact that my ma's in the hospital warded. She had fits two nights ago and it scared the hell outta me. I called the ambulance immediately.Now the docs dont have a clue why it happened.

And the happenings in school has made it somewhat nauseating. to the extent that i have been skipping tutorials. And you guys know, i never skip tutorials. All i see around me are strangers and enemies and it really does take a toll on me mentally. I am unable to concentrate in class, acutely aware of my surroundings, such as Vishnu's snickering. Or else, I just stone. Either way, i dont learn anything and my lecturers have been noticing and aren't too happy about it.

One thing that has been on my mind is my weight issue which i thought would miraculously disappear when i start swimming. It turns out that the belief was a far fetched one. Perphaps i've been eating too damn much. That has somewhat made me depressed as well, and unhappy.

Talked to ma a couple of days back, felt happy to hear a familiar voice. Wish i could hear from you guys more sometime. it makes me happy to hear your voices:)and you guys are seldom online these days? is it me or are the exams coming?Good luck if they are!!!Anyway ive got my address and flight details will post it up soon for ya'll so that you guys can write me and call while im in the uk. Yes, im not even hinting:)

i need my SHOES .

;its a long long journey

Friday, July 29, 2005

all i want to do is to leave this fucking country and out of this school where the people suck so terribly.I cant wait, just that the next 1.5 mths will be torture, seeing those tortured souls everyweek for 15 hours.UGH UGH UGH UGHHHHHHHHHH

i need my SHOES .

;its a long long journey

Friday, July 22, 2005

Went to court recently!it was cool, abit small scale then i expected, but still cool. i guess the movies and all give you a false impression of the justice system sometimes.So i wore my white polo long sleeve shirt and black pants and 3 inch heels and carried a file.I looked, if i could say, like a damn spiffy looking lawyer.I guess, you know being me and all, am still a little girl sometimes and some small things excite me.Such as pretending to be a lawyer at the supreme court.heh:)
So i watched the Huang na's case and it was well, boring.Interesting, but ghastly pictures of the girls corpse and the smiling face of the soon-to-be guity party was the highlights.Oh yea and the old folks who were irrtating.Went for another criminal case where a counsel, probable the public prosecuter was stammering away.haha.Well thought i could have done better than him.and the judge gave him a lashing.

Then later i went to the supreme court library.WIth my file and all looking serious, and flipping the criminal book and doing my essay on provocation.But think some of the lawyers present thought i was a young lawyer or student doing my bar, which is not bad, till my uncle came.Yes he waltzed in and then had a heart attack seeing me looking all proffesional.heh. Then he assumed i was working for a law firm currently. So i replied:"no im not doing a attachment"
He:"Ah ya first year only so kann chiong , and uni havent even start.wahhh"and he said pretty darn loudly and the seriously bar studnets and lawyers looked at me.heh but thank goodness i left with him to his firm.Which was somewhat disappointing and small, but met his attachee whos in third year manchester! It was great speaking to her, cos i felt so relieved.Cos she was vp of singsoc, and i wanna run for singsoc too.And cos she was the only one i knew who had both brit and sing friends in manchester:)Only thing she had a very strong accent.Guess its inevitable, but still after two years.hmm.well well.And gerry was convinced that the accent is picked up naturally, esp. for law students.Guess ill know soon huh.

Then i watched a movie, mindhunters with yiyi!was a great show!loved it, real mindblogging!
well guess ill update soon, anyway all the aussies have left the country!!!!!!
its back to my boring life again:(But i guess i need the peace and quiet, cos things have been just leaving me overwhelmed lately.

i need my SHOES .

;its a long long journey

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Updates on Manchester issue:
The latest rankings on manchester law:
Times:5th in UK(On top of Kings)
Guardian:4th in UK(On top of Kings, UCL, and Cambridge mind you)

Im going.Made my decision.Think i have to start University life this year and go head on into it.
Rationale behind decision:
1)rankings show manchester is doing extremely well after their merger.
2)Considering all the fuck im going through staying in Singapore already, imagine what it'll be like with ACCA classes everyday of the fucking week.That will make me very depressed and unhappy.A Unhappy me=bad results.Bad results=no way oxbridge is gonna accept me then.
3)Im happy with my decision. Leaves me content with this choice.No regrets.I hope anyway.

Which reminds me, everyone has gotten their accommodation but me.pfffffffft.im nervous, mines gonna come soon i think.eeeeeks.ooh another thing, who'll be in SG during 2nd week of sep?

i need my SHOES .

;its a long long journey

Monday, July 18, 2005

the random happenings
1)when i was in a mall, i dropped a coin, a kid bent over immediately, and my immediate instinct was,"omg his gonna steal my coin", so i looked at him in desperation.But the moment he picked it up, he turned around and stretched out his hand and held it up for me.His action to a certain extent, stunned me.I then took the coin thanked him and looked up at his dad and gave him a huge smile, and wanted to badly say"you 'll raise a fine young man".This young 4 year year old kid just left me brimming with tears for awhile, for i have somewhat hardened up recently, with people phunking with my heart.And his sweet simple gesture, is something we should all do.i mean, what happened to one good deed a day huh?
2)was hysterical today.kept letting out suffocated screams.think everyone thought i was a demented soul, but who cares?
3)Joshua continues to ignore me, but i dont care, have officially stopped sitting with him.
4)SIC is in chaos over politics.i cant wait to leave.
5)brought xinyan to little india.felt like a tour guide.Hope she enjoyed it.Somehow, when we were in Little india, i felt so free, like we had entered a different country, and i was so happy, and away from reality.Strange but nevertheless true.

i need my SHOES .

;its a long long journey

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Caught
You know how when your stuck between two really difficult choices? Be it relationship, life, family choices, and you just dont know which is the best for you?

Recently, my parents gave me a choice of staying a extra year in Singapore before my LL.B in UK. I wouldnt quite call it a gap year of course, since ill be studying ACCA and law classes.
Reasons:
1)1 year later=1 year more of maturity
2)it would mean finishing much more of ACCA, which would then mean i may be able to apply to a better uni.
3)better uni=better prospects?
4)after a whole year of law as well, by the time i get to the uk, ill pretty much be cruising past the first year.

BUT:
1)staying could mean that i would be staying my whole life, despite promises made that i will go after a year.
2)Staying under the roof and being watching for another whole year
3)Seeing horrid people i dont quite like in school.Well not all are horrid, but a number are.
4)A high level of stress juggling both ACCA and law classes.
5)And does a whole year of yearning to go more than ever put me into depression or what?
6)and Manchester is top 10 in Uk, with 5th place as the highest given by the Times ranking.

Do now that you know of my sorrrows, please advice.

i need my SHOES .